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Beutiful Magazine: The Love Yourself Issue

Posted on September 30, 2015April 10, 2016 by Leyah Shanks

I’m so happy and humbled to be featured in Beutiful Magazine‘s stunningly amazing The Love Yourself Issue!

There’s so much raw positivity in this publication, it makes my face ache from smiling!

Read my full interview here.

Visit the Beutiful Magazine website here.

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Published by Leyah Shanks

Positive body image activist and advocate for mental health. View all posts by Leyah Shanks

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The look you give when certain individuals attempt to dull your shine... 👽 FACE Concoction of @beccacosmetics Backlight Priming Filter, @cliniqueuk Dramatically Different Moisturizing Lotion and the Niod Photography Fluid Opacity 12% as moisturiser/primer @collectionlove Lasting Perfection concealer applied with @realtechniques beauty sponge @hourglasscosmetics Veil Translucent Setting Powder @beccacosmetics Shimmering Skin Perfector in Pearl @makeuprevolution Hyaluronic Fix setting spray BROWS @mylottielondon Arch Rival Brow Artist brow pencil @nyxcosmetics_uk Control Freak Brow Gel in clear EYES @nyxcosmetics Fire eyeshadow palette from last Christmas/holiday period @urbandecaycosmetics old Vice palette from a few years ago @urbandecaycosmetics Heavy Metal Glitter Liner in Distortion @urbandecaycosmetics Perversion Mascara LIPS @stilacosmetics Colour Balm Lipstick old shade no longer for sale These photos have not been filtered or retouched in any way because beauty does not have to equal mannequinism. ▫️ [Image description: two different but similar selfies. Leyah is wearing a black bob length wig with bangs/a fringe. She is wearing orange eyeshadow with a glitter liner. Her skin is very glowy and highlighted. In the first photo she is looking directly into the camera, challenging those who try to make her feel inferior despite 'championing positivity'... In the second she is looking down, showing off her eye makeup.]

Cellulite, squidgy bits, texturised skin, hands and thighs so cold from Scottish weather they turn pink... we all get 'em ❤ ▫️ Lingerie is the Clara set from @lovepanache. MINI REVIEW: (not sponsored, just loved!) this is one of my favourite (full cup) bras in. the. world. I've had this in two different colours and the style is true to size 👌🏻 has the perfect fit 👌🏻 is so comfy 👌🏻 and gives nice shape and cleavage without padding 👌🏻. Highly recommend this to all my fellow big buster babes! It starts at a 30D and goes up to a 40J. The high waisted knickers are cute af but not my personal fave as the material is super thick and a bit tight on me. I think it would be better if I sized up. They start at an 8 and go up to a size 20. I'll put links in my stories to both the bra and knickers if you wanna have a look! ▫️ Photos are by @carolyn_henry_photography and are completely raw and retouch free. ▫️ [Image description: two professionally shot photos of Leyah in a black and satin purple set of lingerie. Her body is visible down to the mid thigh. Her hair is short and blonde and slicked to the side. She has her very cold hands placed on her thigh. In the first photo she is looking up and in the second she is looking down. She has baby pink polish on her nails.]

When the highlight so good, lights from outer space are attracted to it 🌟 ▫️ Wearing the @makeuprevolution x @sophdoesnails highlight palette from their first collab ▫️ [Image description: Leyah is on a beach at night. She is wearing a black crop top, green trousers, giant hoop earrings and pink fluffy sliders. Her hair is short and blonde.]

Sun, sea, sand and body positive sass 🧞‍♀️☀️ ▫️ Hat and crop tee @primark Bikini bottoms are old @curvykate Sunglasses @topshop ▫️ [Image description: three different photos of Leyah on a beach. She is coming out of the blue water with a clear blue sky behind her. She is wearing a tan sunhat, a yellow crop tee which says "oh honey", chunky black sunglasses and a pair of blue and pink floral bikini bottoms. Her Scottish skin has turned pink in the Spanish sun.]

Feelin' feline 🐯 ▫️ [Image description: a selfie. Leyah is wearing a long blonde wig tied back in a ponytail. She is wearing a fluffy leopard print jumper. She has a fierce black winged liner.]

Not sponsored, body positive lingerie review for #internationaldayofthegirl! Featuring delightful squishiness and prickly pits! 🌵 ▫️ The Piper Longline Balconnet from @cleobypanache is so cute I just wanna pinch a squirrel's cheeks! 🐿 ▫️ Balconnet styles have never been my fave, as they often don't fit the best. This one is better than most I've tried, but still gives me a wee bit of bulginess out the top of the cups. It's nowhere near as noticeable as others and it's definitely not not wearable! ▫️ Slight bulging aside, the bra is v comfortable and gives nice lift and shape to my boobs. The fit and size is good, the style is the only thing to impact on that for me. (They're all different!) All in all I feel pretty much rock solid in this set. ▫️ I adore the lace detailing and contrasting accents of colour. Don't even get me started on the sheer material, so gorge! Free ze nips! This set also comes in an equally stunning deep navy and goes up to a 38J, starting at a 30D. ▫️ I forgot to take a pic of the knickers (well that's pants, Leyah)... But, they're a seamless low rise Brazilian with sheer material on the bum and lace on the front, same as the cups of the bra. Low rise knickers aren't usually my fave as I like to nestle my tummy into my undies (c o m f o r t) but these are pretty comfy as far as low rise goes and nice for a special occasion, wink wink... 😜 They also go up to a size 18 and start at an 8. ▫️ I'm going to put a link in my stories if you wanna wander on over and have a gander! ▫️ WHEN A BRA FITS YOU PROPERLY, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE SQUISHY BITS COME OUT TO PLAY. LINGERIE BRANDS GENERALLY DON'T SHOW THIS, BUT IT'S WHAT HAPPENS. THIS HAS BEEN A PSA. ✌🏻 ▫️ [Image descriptions: an assortment of b&w and unfiltered selfies. One shot is more of a head shot, the rest show 3/4 of her body. Leyah is wearing a baby blue lingerie set. She has a bob length black wig on with bangs/a fringe. There are small bright yellow bows on the bra and knickers. She is wearing orange eyeshadow with glitter liner and a mauvey toned nude lipstick. There is a mixture of resting bitch face and smiles.]

It was amazing to see so many engaging in the conversation about mental health yesterday. But it's important that we make sure it's an ONGOING conversation. It's cute and all having a day dedicated to it, but it almost becomes a "trending topic". Something that's hot to talk about on social media for 24 hours. It is SO much more than that and we really mustn't forget it. ▫️ So, with this in mind, here's a (short) back story about my own journey. TW/CW: self-harm, feeling suicidal, hallucinations. ▫️ I was diagnosed with clinical depression aged 18. I went through a course of CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) after telling my GP I had been considering taking my own life. Much to my shame, I was put on a high dose of antidepressants immediately to try and eliminate the risk to my life until starting therapy. ▫️ Prior to going through CBT, I had years of crying. All the time. Incredibly low mood. Lack of motivation. I'd want to sleep the day away in bed. I'd go through periods of severe binge eating and periods where I didn't eat enough. Obsessive behaviours around food and sex. I pushed everyone I loved away and was constantly angry. I had no idea why anyone would ever want to be alive. I hated everything. I eventually began self-harming and started to have hallucinations. I watched members of my family murdered in front of me, my dogs hit by cars and me ending my own life. I'm very lucky to have had that random snap in my brain that told me to go and see a doctor. ▫️ I went though CBT for several weeks, and while it helped, I was kicked off the course by my councillor "because I had gotten a job". I had become aware of why I possessed so many of these issues and why my brain functions the way it does. I hadn't however learnt fully how to process my emotions or talk. I'm still figuring out how to do that myself. Since then, I have been on antidepressants for most of my life. I've been off medication for over a year now through my own choice. Had a few close calls with suicide and self-harmed. I've also started an online movement, got through a year of College and three years of University so far and am continuing to learn more about myself and the world.

Since being diagnosed as having clinical depression around seven years ago, and developing anxiety a few years later, I've learnt a few things. ▫️ ⚡Some are intimated by those who are open about having a mental illness. It's best to make a happy little dance in the opposite direction of these types. Your being open about dealing with a mental health issue is progressive and contributes to social change. Anything less than supportive of that fact can, as we say in Scotland, bolt. ▫️ ⚡Mental disorders don't always have a rhyme or a reason. They can be completely unpredictable and cause chaos for no apparent reason. Learning how to deal with that can be very challenging. Not just for the sufferer, but for those close to them. Communicating with those in your life is very important. ▫️ ⚡A person with a mental illness may not look how we may have come to "expect" a person with a mental illness to look. They may not act like it either. High functioning depression and anxiety (holla ✌🏻) and all other high functioning mental illnesses, mean that sufferers can carry out their daily lives without any obvious trauma on the outside. The saying "you never know what someone is going through" is a thing for a reason. Be mindful of that. ▫️ ⚡Situational mental unwellness is also a thing. Life can be a fuckfest of shit. And it can seriously impact on an otherwise mentally well person. Some can come out the other side, eventually, and with lots of help. Others, like me, have a chemical imbalance in the brain which means they will probably always be battling their own mind. For reasons that are outwith their control. Accepting and dealing with that can be an incredibly tiring and confusing process. ▫ ⚡A person with a mental illness is still a person. A human being. Who deserves to be respected and taken seriously. Who deserves not to be confined to a box that society has put them in and be treated a certain way because of it. They deserve the same levels of respect and understanding as a cancer or Alzheimer's patient receives. ▫️ ⚡We each deserve to bask in our own beautiful way. Our own amazingness that makes us who we are. Whether that's in how we look or what we deal with.

This #WorldMentalHealthDay has been an odd one for me. ▫️ Over the past few days my anxiety has reared its ugly head and in turn, fueled my depression. ▫️ I've been utterly convinced that I am incapable, in every shape and form. ▫️ I have been consumed by panic attacks and feelings of absolute desperation, completely out of nowhere. ▫️ My entire being changed in the snap of two fingers. ▫️ One part of my brain tells me one thing and another part tries viciously to override it. ▫️ The chemical imbalance that exists in my brain will probably always be something I have to learn to work with. ▫️ But I'm making a promise to myself here and now that I will give myself the care and self-love that I need, always fight it when I have the strength to do so and try my best to remember who and what I am: a strong, mouthy Scots chick with so much love to give. ▫️ I am NOT incapable. And neither are you. ▫️ Today, when I was feeling incredibly fragile, this little soul dropped by to say hey. ▫️ Nature has always had this unexplainable impact on my mental health. Natural events and living beings always remind me of how beautiful the world is, and just how much of it I want to see. ▫️ I called this little bundle of joy Amber. Amber stayed put on my arm for a good 5 minutes, even though I wasn't still. The energy was almost tangible and it brought tears to my eyes. ▫️ Getting home after having met Amber, I decided to put on some orange eyeshadow and a black wig and remind myself of what makes me happy. ▫️ I'm going to make a solid attempt to keep those things at the front of my mind whenever random attacks happen in the future. ▫️ Remember, mental illness looks different on everyone. Practice self-care however you know best and always remember that there are so many people on this earth who care about you. ▫️ Please never allow the socially constructed stigmas of mental illness to confine or label you. ▫️ A human being with any kind of illness is still a human, and we all need to practice a little more love over hatred. ▫️ My most necessary form of self-care is remembering to eat and getting enough sleep. My favourites are having a bath and doing my makeup. What's yours?

Acting as if my pale Scottish ass wasn't frying in the Spanish sun ✌🏻🍅 ▫️ [Image description: Leyah is sitting on a wooden bench. Palma Palace can be seen fairly close behind her. It is a gloriously sunny day with a clear blue sky visible in the background. There is very lush green bushes behind her as well as a vivid magenta one. She is wearing a sunhat, chunky black sunglasses, a yellow crop top, blue and white striped loose fitting trousers and pink fluffy sliders.]

Why is it that every organ and body part gets sympathy when it's ill, besides the brain? ▫️ Dogtooth jacket is old @simplybeuk. ▫️ [Image description: a professionally shot headshot. Leyah is wearing a long blonde wig and a monochrome dogtooth jacket. Her hair is tucked around one side of her shoulder and tumbling down the other. She is looking off to the side and there are trees behind her.]

I don't want to speak over anyone. If you have the time, please go and check out the #fatisnotaviolation conversation. ▫️ I simply cannot believe that there is a need for it in 2018. But there is. ▫️ The fight for body positivity and representation for *all* has categorically not been won when this kinda shit is going on. ▫️ This photo has obviously had a black and white filter applied to it but has not been retouched or altered in any way. ▫️ [Image description: a black and white selfie. Leyah is wearing a long blonde wig and a beanie hat. One side of her hair is falling down by her back and the other is laying down the front of her chest. She is wearing a black jumper and her tattooed hand is resting on her chest. She is looking straight into the camera and has a very expressionless look on her face.]

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